Ahhh, smiling happy people!
While some people wear their feelings on their sleeves, most of us abide by subtle rules that demand a smile in the morning regardless of what we are feeling. Societal norms offer a limited selection of choices to the question “How you are you doing?”:
a. Good.
b. Fine.
c. Excellent!
d. If I was any better I’d be Jeff Skipper!!
e. Any combination of the above.
It’s rare to hear someone give a really authentic response, and when they do, it’s often missed.
When we look at our employees, it’s easy to believe that they:
- have parents that are self-sufficient
- are not dealing with mental health issues in their household
- get a good night’s sleep every night in a noise-free neighborhood
- are not worried about paying all the bills or a hereditary disease
- have childcare that they trust
- are not contending with undiagnosed ADHD
- enjoy the companionship of pets as much as we do
- are not dealing with the repercussions of financial mistakes or errors in judgment from school years
- have a strong support network
- go home to a relaxing evening in front of the telly
- would rather not discuss any pain occurring in their lives
Right?
Well of course we know better. We all carry some level of trouble and pain which is bound to have an effect on our productivity, creativity, and capacity to deal with change.
But, to the extent that each person feels they are understood, that they are heard, and that someone cares, our desire to give back through performance, productivity, and support increases exponentially.
As leaders, we don’t have to be a friend to every employee, but if we want their best, we do need to treat each one like a complete human being with issues as well as talents if we want their best.
On your next check-in call, make it personal. Don’t settle for trite responses. Ask how they REALLY feel. You don’t have to solve their problems, but you do need to demonstrate you care. You might be surprised what they achieve as a result.
Thoughtfully yours,
Jeff
